Loc: (A six year old child stands in front of a mirror putting battle make up on under his eyes. He ties on a bandana across his forehead before he very dramatically speaks to the audience.) It’s a hard knock life out here in deez streets. My momma said knock you out and I juss might have to if you keep looking at me crazy. What you lookin’ at? Boo! (He transforms into a nerdy kid in an instant.) What did you think? Was that scary? Did you think I was one of the brothers from the hood? (He holds up a black power fist.) Did that seem real?
Mom: Tony Locster Jefferson Paul breakfast is ready!
Loc: That’s my mom. She loves me but if it weren’t for her I wouldn’t be in this situation. My granny is sick and she lives in (Whispers) “the hood.”
Mom: (Eavesdropping, laughing) Excuse me little boy?
Loc: Mom! It’s against the law to listen to someone’s private conversation. Hello, Watergate.
Mom: Watergate? Really? Sometimes I think you’re too smart for your own good.
Loc: Mom, I don’t want to go back to this school.
Mom: This is the same school I went to.
Loc: You’re tougher than me.
Mom: Is that what the battle make up is about?
Loc: I saw it on Rambo and he was a badass.
Mom: Excuse me?
Loc: Badass- by definition means that he was a …badass. (Performing) He cols crush a man in his hands. He could- (Granny enters and joins in)
Granny: - kill an army of bad guys with one bullet.
Loc: Yeah! He could jump from a burning plane and land on his feet.
Granny: He could have any woman he wanted at the nursing home.
Loc: He could- what?
Mom: Nothing. Mom, your grandson thinks Kellistical Elementary is a “hood” school.
Granny: Somebody messing with you?
Loc: No, everything is fine Granny.
Mom: Grab your lunch, you don’t want to be late…and you might want to take that make up off. It makes you look dirty.
Loc: I was going to gangsta.
Mom: Just dirty.
