*This piece is written for a Korean woman but can be easily edited out to fit any race and still tell the story to the fullest.
Mi Sun stands in front of a mirror looking at her pregnant body. She is not happy about her present situation. We find out that her husband left her when he found out she was pregnant because he didn’t want a child, didn’t want any change. Mi Sun is adopted and talks to her adoptive mother sharing with her that she doesn’t understand how a mother could give her child up. She wonders what her birth mother’s mindset was to get her to do what she did. As the scene progresses Mi Sun’s stress level borders on depression but she tells us she has refused medication so she can keep her baby girl safe. He adoptive mother tells her she is concerned about her wellbeing. Mi Sun begins to show symptoms of a disorder called Trichotillomania, a disorder where the person pulls their hair out as a way to deal with their emotional stresses. Mi Sun does this uncontrollably throughout the performance. She finally goes into labor and the baby is born, and when she holds the baby for the first time she begins to understand what motherhood really is…having the instinct to know that she was not ready to be a mother. She realizes that her daughter needed what she couldn’t give her but hopefully someone else could. In a very emotional moment Mi Sun gives her daughter back to the nurse and instructs her to never bring her back. Sometimes the things that we want the most in our lives are out of our reach for reasons beyond us, but the strongest person is able to see and realize that they are not capable of it.
This moment in time is supposed to be the most life changing moment in my life. All of the movies I saw as a little girl showed the pure joy a woman felt when she found out she was pregnant. She tells her husband and he takes her in his arms and they hug and kiss and just in that moment a single tear falls form her face. (Smiles) The storybook ending right? The fairytale. I wanted that, hell I had that…once. Graduated top of my college class, opened my own business, strong woman with great values and then he walked in. He was tall and handsome and even my mother said, “Mi Sun, this man is going to change your world.” We fell in love, married, and bought a house; everyone called us a “power couple.” (Beat, her memory shifts) It was like watching a hurricane hit the shore, wind rushing, pushing the water onto the shore, houses and trees swaying back and forth until (she whistles) it all comes crashing down. (Beat) My storm hit landfall some months ago. Not sure if I will ever see the sun again, not sure if I will live to see (She rubs her belly) her, but I’m trying to figure out what’s my normal. And honestly, I don’t know where it’s hiding. I just wanted to be a mother.