(The scene opens with Kim. She is standing in front of what should look like a classroom teaching a very important lesson. She claps her hands to gain the attention of the class.)
Kim: Attention please. Could I have your attention please? (Beat) Sit down and shut up. (Smiles) Thank you. My name is Miss Kim. I am your teacher and today our lesson is a very important one, one that could make or break you in high school, one that if not taken seriously could cause you great bodily harm, the topic is simple…Mean Girls. It is not a movie. It is not a myth. It is real, real, REAL!!! (To audience) Oh, who am I kidding? Yes, my name is Kim but I’m not a teacher and I’m not a Miss. I’m a high school senior and I keep having this reoccurring dream about…Him. And “Him” is with “Her.” And “Her” is a mean girl. (She growls) She is as mean as they come. (Growls again) So mean.
(In a dream, she is tossing and turning)
Kim: Kirk will you go to prom with me?
Kirk: Oh Kimmie.
Kim: Oh Kirk. (She starts kissing him in her sleep)
Jackie: KIRK! What the hell?
Kim: No Jackie. No. I would never flirt with Kirk. No Jackie I would never flirt with your boyfriend. No Jackie, don’t go Mean Girl cray cray on me. No.
Mom: Kimmie.
Kim: Don’t call my name Jackie.
Mom: Kimmie Lacey.
Kim: Don’t call me by my full name Jackie we are not friends.
Mom: (Yelling) Kimmie Lacey Diane Hummsfield! It is time for school. Get up, get ready and get down here before your perfectly scrambled eggs get cold.
(She jumps up scared and out of breath)
Kim: Why do I keep having this dream about Kirk?
Mom: Well hello sleepy head. You were having a little tussle with your dream master this morning.
Kim: What does that even mean mom?
Dad: It means honey that we could hear you in our room.
Mom: We heard a lot too.
