Allison: Mom! MOM! (Cheering) 2-4-6-8 who do we appreciate?
Karen: Oh, a cheer! Isn’t that cute! Yes honey, what is it?
Allison: Lucy’s mom says that in order for me to be on the cheer squad, my mom had to be on the Booster club so I signed you up.
Karen: What?! Signed me up in what capacity?
Allison: I don’t know what that means. I’m only in the sixth grade. Geez you’re always talking to me like I’m a stupid old grown up and I’m not.
Karen: No, you’re not a grown up.
Allison: What did you say mom?
Karen: Nothing dear, nothing at all.
Allison: The only position they had available was President so I signed you up.
Karen: Excuse me, what did you say?
Allison: You’re welcome Mrs. President. You always told me to be the best at all I do, so I thought that’d go for you too Prezzo. Sounds good right?
Karen: Sounds like hell in a handbag.
Allison: Why would you want to carry around hell? (Dismissive) Adults, God help them.
Karen: I wish murder weren’t against the law.
Allison: But this way I’m a Shoo-in for cheer captain.
Karen: If you’re alive.
Karen: Nothing. Nothing at all.
Allison: Okay cool. Be at the meeting today, school gym at 6pm. Bye.
Karen: Bye. (She begins to cry) I wonder if I could get my affairs in order, cook dinner, feed the dog, walk the cat, and kill myself all before 6pm?