Duo/ Duet- Beauty Is A Queen

(Scene opens with the Host getting his makeup done.) Host: Come on makeup chick what is all this crap? Makeup Girl: Hey host jerk it’s whatever the hell I put on you. You’re so rude. Didn’t you ever learn that I have the ability to make you look like an animal? Host: Let’s be honest, this face could never look like an animal. Makeup Girl: Are you serious? That’s how it looked when I started. Host: Liar. Jealous ugly people do makeup. (She begins to work vigorously. Pauses to admire her work. Hostess approaches.) Hostess: Holly crap! What happened to your face? Host: What? What do you mean? Hostess: (Laughing) You look like a dog (Focusing) or a cat with rabies maybe (Exits laughing) rabies man for a host of a beauty pageant. (Still laughing off) Host: I’m going to kill her. Lois: Five minutes and the lights are going down. If you don’t have it by now you won’t have it later. If your mother is the only one that told you you were cute this is probably not the competition for you. Beth: Wait for it, here it comes. Lois: Don’t suck! Beverly: I can’t believe you put up with her crap every year. Beth: She’s just stupid and we are all use to it. (Starts warming up for a song) Beverly: The competition hasn’t even started and you’re warming up for the final? Beth: Hells yes! That’s how I win every year. Steph: Until now. Beth: You think you can take my crown Steph? Steph: It’s already gone. Like magic. (Blows imaginary dust in her face) Beth: Magic? (Laughs) What is this a fairytale? You think your Miss Grocery Aisle Six crown even compares to all of the crowns I have won? Steph: Seven. Beth: What? Steph: It was aisle seven not six, aisle seven is ten feet longer, get it right. Beverly: Hey just leave her alone. Steph: Oh you have a body guard now? Lois: Four minutes ladies, move the silicone and squeeze those bunions in those heels. Let’s move.