When Beth begins writing in her diary as a way to get over her ex boyfriend she never expected her nosey mother to read it. But when she did her mother decides that the best way for Beth to get over her ex is to move on to the next. In a series of scenes we follow Beth through the trials of online dating, blind dating and everything in between. Eventually Beth’s story comes full circle when she waits for her next date and in walks her ex who is now a totally different guy…now she sees what a jerk he was from the beginning. In the end Mom was right, he is a big ole piece of poop.
I Hate Men
- Beth: Dear Diary, why do you hate me so? It has been seven days since Alan and I broke up and I am a mess. I miss his voice- Alan: Beth…Beth… Beth: I miss his smell. Alan: Smell me Beth. Beth: I miss his breath. (Alan blows his breath in her face and she is mesmerized.) Yep just like that. My mom says- Mom: Girl shut up and stop with that dumb man that treated you like a big ole pile of- Beth: Got it Mom. Mom: Smelly, fly infested- Beth: Mom! I got it. Mom: Say it. Pile of what? Beth: (Whispers) Shit. Mom: That’s right. Beth: (Back to her diary) So in a nutshell my life sucks because I am now getting advise from my mother. Kill me, yours truly, Beth. (Scene opens with the Mom reading Beth’s diary. She is laughing and crying.) Mom: (Reading) Diary, why do you hate me so? It has been seven days since Alan and I broke up and I am a mess. (Laughs, flips back a few pages, reading) Dear diary, Alan is the most amazing man I have ever met. I think I hear wedding bells. (Laughs, aside) Yep, bells of someone else’s wedding. Oh my poor baby and that stupid man. (Beth enters and catches her mom reading her diary) Beth: Mom! Mom: Beth. (Continues to read) Beth: Mom, that’s my diary you’re reading. Mom: I know. Jane told me where you kept it. Beth: She did what? (Jane enters) Jane: Sorry girl. You were being all weird. Mom: Depressed. Jane: Strange. Mom: Antisocial. Jane: Kinda creepy. Mom: Nearly suicidal.