(Opens a bottle and drinks, it is the best thing he has ever tasted) I'll never forget my first drink. I was in middle school and I was at my best friends house, his mom had a bar. (Laughs) It was funny because she always trusted us to not drink the liquor but when your thirteen you're not thinking about getting caught your thinking how cool it is. (Looks at the bottle) Not so cool anymore.
My baby sister sat me down the other day and told me I had a problem. She said that if I loved her, or my family I would put the bottle down and get some help. (Beat) Get some help. She said, “It’s so easy,” I looked at her and I said what I always said, "Baby girl, I don't have a drinking problem. I drink like every other adult man. A little here and a little there, no big deal." (Beat) That was a lie. If you have someone in your family at has a problem with substance abuse know this, we are always lying. (Laughs) If I'm not drunk I'm waiting to get drunk, I'm on my way to get drunk, I'm always thirsty. (Laughs) Because when you’re a man, a strong man, you should be able to fix this on your own. "Why can't you fix this son." That's what my dad would always say and I didn't know why. I wanted to be sober. I wanted to be like my brothers and sister just normal people. I know that they have their issues but to be free from this need, this drug that owns my body, to have a day, just one day of freedom, shit I don't know what I would do. When I got out of jail I... I went to rehab for three days and then I left. I was there just long enough for them to tell me that if I didn't address what was at the root, the core of my drinking I would eventually kill myself. Have you ever been told that? That this thing you are doing is going to kill you. I dismissed it as a scare tactic then things started happening to me. I started blacking out.
